"We aren't concerned about your performance. We know you would be very successful. What everyone is concerned about is your commitment"
As I sat in the Group Rental Manager's office today for my third and final step in the interview process, I let these words sink in. Commitment.
I've never considered myself the type to have commitment issues, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. The reason why this "concern" arose in the first place is that I admitted in an interview (which to many the following would scream HUGE mistake) that I was considering actively searching for work while working for the company that I was interviewing for. Granted, I am a fresh out of college student, who hasn't really done anything else. My first real job was an internship with this company a couple of years ago, and although I did stellar as an intern, I had to decide whether there is nothing else out there for me.
My cousin Melanie, who has her own blog, Melanie's Journey to Tinier Pants, admitted that she might be afraid of success. I think I may suffer from the same problem. I'm afraid to commit, even in situations where success is promising. Especially in situations where success is promising. I heard once "if your dreams don't scare you, they're not big enough.". I'm definitely afraid. Why am I afraid of being in intimate relationships with the people around me? Why is it easier to push them away? Why am I afraid of working hard and having a bangin' body? Why is it easier to sit on the couch and just pout with a pint of ice cream? Why am I afraid of working for a company where success isn't guaranteed, but it's probably the best opportunity that will come my way for quite some time? Why am I afraid to have a personal relationship with God? Why is it easier to just say I'm a believer and occasionally go to church and sometimes read His word? Perhaps it's not commitment that scares me. Maybe it's conviction.
2013 is going to be the year of commitment for me. Committing to my exercise regimen, committing to clean eating, committing to every relationship in my life, committing to God and being the person He wants me to be, and possibly committing myself to an employer. If I get offered a job on Monday, I'm committing myself to a company for three years. "Give me three years, and if you're still not happy I will personally help you find a new job", the GRM said to me. "Give me 60 days and I will transform your body", said Shaun T. "Give me your heart and I will give you eternal life" said Jesus.
Deal.
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